Saturday, February 14, 2009

How to make it in comics?

Five helpful suggestions on how to make it in the comic book business:
  1. Blatantly imitate someone successful- why struggle to find your own voice when stealing from others is called an homage? The industry was built on stolen intellectual property so why bother inventing anything new? Comics people are all about trying to relive their childhood so anything new will just be mocked, feared, resented and hated so don't even try.
  2. Photo reference all your art -make sure you use only porn actresses faking orgasms for the women no matter how inappropriate to character's emotion or age. Just light box some lines over the top of some blurred out photos and you have a comic!
  3. Pick on someone more famous than you to create a flame war. Isn't this why the Internet was invented?
  4. Make friends with people who are already successful -even if you suck people will hear your successful buddies singing your praises and assume you have talent even if you don't. No one will find out the truth until you're already famous by which time they'll be kissing your ass (following rule #4) trying to build their own career (unless they decide to follow rule #3 but your legion of ass kissing fans should provide an adequate defense). It's like a pyramid scheme for cartoonists!
  5. Supply editors with sex/drugs/shallow praise/free drinks -bribery seems to not only be welcomed, but expected. Comics people tend to be drunks, perverts and degenerate gamblers so this is probably your best bet for success.
These handy tips seem to have worked well for others. Why not give them a try? Let us know if they work for you...

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Sorry but due to recent spamming I'm going to have to turn on word verification. Half the time I can't tell what those damn letters are supposed to be!